The most charismatic people have 2 Main things in common. These 2 Traits are learnable, can be brought to a great level without much effort and yet still take time to master fully. Once known they will make you popular, others will listen to you, want to be around you and they will treat you with more respect than they ever have. Here they are:
1. Turn yourself into an active Listener. What is the feeling you get when you talk to someone amazing? Don’t you feel as if the entire world revolves around you for the time you talk to them?
When you can show someone that they are the most important thing to you at this moment in time, they feel amazing. They develop a feeling of gratitude towards you because you treat them like they really matter. In the end, we all want to feel like our life had some meaning, like we weren’t just a grain of sand floating in the wind. Giving someone this feeling is amazing for them, but it also makes you pay attention.
Active Listeners value their conversation partners and everything they have to say, even if they do not agree with it. Most people just listen. They think about other things, get distracted or are not fully attentive to us when we talk. But if you change to become an active listener people will come to you with their problems, they will want to have more conversations with you and they will open up almost naturally to you.
This Skill is difficult to master because it puts a lot responsibility on you but is quite easy to develop! If you want to make others feel important and meaningful, all you need to do is behave that way. When you are talking to someone important to you, make them feel that way as well. Think that you have to hold a speech on what they say the next day in front of 100 people.
Also, think that whatever they tell you means a lot to them. This is something very personal and close to their heart and they are entrusting you with this right now. Thinking about these two things before going into a conversation will make you pay attention. You will not look at your phone and instead treat them like they mean the world to you right now.
2. Create an amazing attitude. When asked what the goal of life was for people, most responded with “I just want to be happy.” Happiness, feeling elated and excited, are feelings we all seek every day. We spend money on experiences and things that are supposed to make us feel that way. Work hard to be able to pay for a few happy experiences, and even sacrifice most of our life so that we get a small glimpse of it.
Now, what do you believe would happen if you were a source of happiness and excitement for others? How would others behave around you if you made them feel amazing? What about if you had so much fun that they were envious of that fun?
People will start to treat you with more respect. They will value you more because you are giving them that which they seek from life, which means, if you talk to them and are around them, they will listen to you and respect you.
This is a trade you are undergoing here. You are willing to give them the feeling of happiness by sharing your own happiness with them, and for that you receive their attention and respect.
Think about it: Why are people with humor so popular? Comedians and Celebrities with a sense of humor can take over entire stadiums when they speak because they are liked and valued. People listen to them, trust them and aspire to be like them, all because of their positive attitude!
You may not be able to take over entire stadiums when you speak, but maybe your circle of friends and the smaller events you attend. To do this start to have fun for yourself. Be a little selfish and see how you can have the most fun. If you follow that path you will eventually radiate that happiness to the people around you.
Learn to have an amazing attitude and not only will people want to spend more time with you, but you will also have a better life and way more fun!